Maybe nobody talks about this, but men get body shamed too. Men are judged by their appearance and physique too. More than half of men are shamed for being short. More than half. Because the median height is still short. And yes, men do get fat-shamed too. Not to mention penis shaming. And social status. Money. Power.
What’s different is how men cope. Men overcompensate because of fear of not being good enough. They try to impress with things external to them. Instead of acknowledging fear. Because that would be weakness, and you can’t be weak. You can’t be emotional. You’ll be unwanted. Unaccepted. Rejected.
There’s so much social conditioning on what you can and can’t be. And pressure to be ‘tough.’ But what tough is got confused with weakness.
Because ‘tough’ is what you get when you embrace your fears and emotions.
Not the other way around.
Yet still, only a few talk about it. The rest cover it up with machismo. That’s why we have sports to distract us. And power games.
And that’s just the beginning… When men feel shamed, rejected, or not good enough and don’t have a healthy coping mechanism, it gets internalized. Pushed down. Repressed. That’s like pushing on a spring–that blasts forth in anger and rage. Hatred and violence. It clouds the mind, closing off possibilities and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of victimhood and defensiveness, inviting attack. Then the man attacks.
He projects his undealt feelings and traumas onto those around him. Onto lovers. Partners. He projects his own inadequacies in the form of attacks to women’s self conscienceless and lack of self esteem. He preys on what he has been conditioned to believe is weakness. Emotions. The one thing that can save him from his own prison.
But every man holds the key.
No one else possibly can. No love. No sex. Nothing external to oneself at all.
Men have to learn how to love themselves too, without confusing this with pride and ego. Because that takes you right back into the machismo trap.
The key to escape your prison is your emotional well-being.
So talk about it. Talk to someone. Just reach out. Face your fears and love your fucking self. So easy, even a guy could understand, right?
=D
