I went to a dark place. It was like falling into the same hole, but different this time. I didn’t need any help getting out. Sometimes there’s someone there for you that’s been through something similar, to help. Sometimes there’s someone to pull you up. I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t need that.
Instead, I chose to light up that dark place.
With awareness.
Just observing.
And witnessing what came up.
And when I lit up, there was no darkness.
When I observed, there was no hole.
What I witnessed was that there was only a platform, upon which I was standing, to elevate. And so I did.
And that changed everything.
This world doesn’t need love, because love just IS.
Love is already present.
Love is always present!
You don’t need to need.
What I’m experiencing is a complete abolishment of everything I was taught about and everything I believed love to be.
Because I gave up acceptance.
I gave up wanting to be loved.
I gave up my desires.
Why? Because that programming came from thousands of years of bullshit patriarchal “rule.” Our religions, governments, and schools, not to mention workplaces and just about everywhere, treat women and men differently, creating huge double-standards of how we are “supposed to” act with one another. Men are encouraged to do shit that women are disgraced for. That’s bullshit!
And that’s exactly why I never fit in…
I can only be my authentic self–but that doesn’t mean I’m all love and light. Nah, this mafucka swears like crazy. And he doesn’t stand for injustice. And he’ll embrace his own deepest vulnerabilities and insecurities for transcendence. That’s real shit! It’s the full spectrum of my living expression on this plane of existence.
And so I’m letting it all go…
It’s an everything must go event! The patriarchy is going out of business!
In fact, there’s so much letting go that I’m not even focused on letting go anymore…
That’s why I’ve shifted to embracing.
I’m embracing new values that attract even more like-minded people in life.
So rather than focus on the lies, manipulation, and social injustice, I embrace solutions.
And the solution for me is that the patriarchal type of love doesn’t fit.
This mafucka will only stand with goddesses!!!
I’ve found that in the midst of my confusion around attracting love and seeking acceptance, I had been pushing away. Again. But not any more.
Because now I’m embracing.
I’m embracing myself for all that I am.
I’m embracing my masculinity.
And I’m embracing my feminity.
Yes, you read that right. I’m embracing my feminity.
I’m embracing balance.
And I’m embracing exploration. I’m allowing my desires to still be present, and without attachment to them, I’m witnessing the natural flow.
I’m embracing the feelings I have, and observing them flow.
I’m embracing stillness in my heart–not pushing or pulling, just stillness that is. Like love. It just is.
And stillness invites clarity.
Clarity brings newfound wisdom. And that wisdom is that we don’t have to persist on society’s programming of who they think we should be.
This is our chance to stand up for ourselves.
To elevate our existence.
And to light this bitch up!!!
This revolution starts within.
That’s what’s on the other side of the question mark.
And so the nature of self-love, the second triage in the Star of David (as above, so below), is allowing, embracing, and illuminating.
Stillness is the center of it all.
Thank you for being part of my journey!
=D
