I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this… I was open as a child. I didn’t have labels we put on people today, like gender neutral or fluid. Whatever label each of us uses is perfect for where we are at the time. To me, I was just a child being a child. I was very much a boy, but unlike other boys, I didn’t have a “phase” where I didn’t like girls. And I’m glad. Because even at a young age my masculinity and feminity were balanced.
Fast forward, now I know the secret of how social conditioning starts very young… Kids are programmed by not only 25.000 words by age 7, but the actions and behaviors of those around them. You’re constantly inundated with information, and each person chooses how best to filter through that to literally create their own reality. There’s so many secrets of how the mind works, and that’s just one!
Back then I was just a round peg people wanted to fit into a square hole. But I just wanted to be me. And I’m grateful for having influences in my life that encourage and empower the real me. I’m also grateful my parents didn’t force gender stereotypes on me. I liked the toys the other girls played with and asked my parents for a baby doll once. My parents gave me one. And the first thing I realized as I opened it was the packaging. Boom. Social conditioning. The coloring and graphics. ‘For girls’ on the box. I instantly realized that not everything was for boys. So I hid it.
This became THE most embarrassing thing I was afraid to admit growing up.
Why am I saying this? Because true strength is embracing your vulnerability.
I felt safe to be open until 14. Back then I liked playing with pom poms at the football games when I was in marching band. That’s why when I opened my gift box from SIIA last week (that’s Supreme Influence in Action), just seeing this pom pom gave me this huge BREAKTHROUGH…
At 14 I submitted to toxic masculinity. That’s not the breakthrough.
30 years later I came back to myself. I know exactly who I AM.
What happened at 14 was a significant event on the timeline. That day, hate won a battle. The most abusive teacher I had (who actually wasn’t physically abusive like some others), instilled hate deep into my subconscious through the daily repetition of hatred towards me. In my face. Yelling. He hated drummers and he hated me. He was the band teacher btw.
On that day, after berating and belittling me in front of everyone else, that was the first time I became emotionally checked out. People were reaching out to me and I was shutting them out. That hate had seeded a battle within between the real me and the part of me that submitted to toxic masculinity social conditioning (you know, boys don’t cry, be strong and hold your emotions in, blah blah blah, NOT TRUE).
And this pattern repeated, showing up in all areas of life. I couldn’t have relationships because of past limiting beliefs of being hated, disliked, and unwanted. All of which were untrue, but your subconscious codes things differently. It doesn’t discern, it simply takes what it is being programmed with (another secret of the mind).
This pattern repeated until I became AWARE and was finally able to open up to my emotions again.
You’ve probably noticed I do transformational work. That’s because there’s so much power in releasing your programming and transcending limiting patterns. I don’t do it for me as much as I do it as my service for countless others. And I know it works. Not ‘it worked for me so it can work for you.’ It works on everyone. Everytime. With laser precision.
Maybe my story will inspire you… Maybe you’re still trying to put a label on me… Either way, that’s telling you something. What is it saying? Take a look within your hidden thoughts, honor and embrace your feelings and your map of reality, and unlearn the limiting programming of your past. This is an opportunity being presented to you right now. You can do it YOUR way.
Just ask me if you want to know more, or see what others are saying: #Niurkainc #SupremeInfluence
I’m not here to convince anyone though, I’m just sharing only one of many of my breakthroughs, and it’s really up to you if you’ve decided you’ve had enough with old ways of being that just don’t serve you anymore. YOU are the decision maker of your life, and that is your power.
Just imagine yourself right now, fully in your power… Notice what you see. Notice what it sounds like. Hear your own empowering voice declaring it so. FEEL the feels of being exactly who you are without the labels or conditioning. Now amplify that. There’s more where that came from!
Now I’m going to dance and shake my pom pom!!!
